a guide to writing better descriptions
info dumping is the process of overloading your reader with a large chunk of information. while it can seem beneficial to set the scene and improve how your character is visualised, it often comes across as overwhelming, clunky, and poorly written!
however, it's important to recognise that info dumping isn't always a blurt of descriptions. it can also be seen in sections of dialogue or backstories. when proof reading, if it doesn't seem necessary, cut it!
janette studied herself in the mirror as she got ready for the day. she was wearing a blue dress, which contrasted against her pale skin and freckles. her green eyes glinted as she tied her curly brown hair up in a ponytail.
notice: ~6 descriptive features doesn't flow well only some descriptions add to the plot
this passage focuses on janette preparing for the day. because of this, information about her outfit and how she styles her hair/accessories are okay for providing a picture! just be mindful of unnecessary adjectives and nouns, highlighted in green and blue. keeping in mind that the focus of the text is on her getting ready, we can rewrite it, minimising the info shared or mentioning it in a less obvious way.
janette tied her hair into a ponytail, tucking any loose curls that escaped behind her ear. she stepped back to see herself in the mirror. she smoothed her blue dress as she did, the colour contrasting beautifully against her pale skin.
while this passage could still be improved on, it noticeably flows a lot better than the original did. by;
adding action (verbs in green) and
minimising adjectives (green eyes, curly brown hair)
the chunkiness of the paragraph is reduced, while still providing enough description to both improve the plot, and give readers an image to visualise.
when trying to decide if a piece of description is too clunky, ask yourself:
does it add to the plot?
does it need to be mentioned now in the story?
is it specific to the scene you're writing?
if you answer no to more than 2 of those questions, then it's a good sign that you don't need that piece of information! it's best to mention description when it's either essential, or seamless to do so.
if your character is outside at golden hour, mention how the sun shines off their skin. if they're going to a ball, mention their outfit. the setting should setup your description!
if you're struggling to detect/fix an infodump in your work, ask a friend to read it over, or take a break! fresh eyes will pick up flaws quicker.
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